Mostly, when I sit with people who come my way, I ask questions. I mirror back what they're saying, and I keep asking, and I keep mirroring, until we find it. The answer that was already there. Unkept and quivering in the corner like a forgotten ornament.

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That's the first part of the work, and it's the easiest.

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The second part is harder, and it's where my coaching, and our commitment, really gets traction.

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Knowing your direction and living it are two different things. There's a way of picturing this that helps.

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Imagine everyone carries two worlds. An outer one, the version you show people, that performs to people, that seeks validation from people, that copes with violence and terror, and tries its best to hold it all together. And an inner one, underneath, that we mostly stopped paying attention to somewhere down the line. Somewhere in that inner world is the thing you actually came here to give, and it has nothing to do with anything you've ever been told to do by anyone else. It's completely unique to you. It's been lying dormant this whole time, like a seed waiting for the right soil and the right environment to do its thing in. And this seed will wait a whole lifetime, and more, until you're ready to raise it from its potential.

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Why do people go their entire lives without planting and nurturing this inner seed? Is it because they're lazy, or broken, or don't have time, or something else? I don't know. But maybe it feels dangerous. Dangerous to what, though?

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We now know the brain is a pattern finding, pattern making machine, with no moral compass. It's an incredibly complex piece of us we barely understand, but we do know it gravitates toward the most efficient routes of experience, which are generally the ones it learned in our first seven or eight years alive.

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So all of us, to some extent, are unconsciously letting our brains find the patterns that feel familiar from childhood, for better or worse. We find the uncomfortable comfortable circumstance and let it play out across our relationship to life, work, family, love, all of it, rather than standing in what's true in the unfamiliar present moment.

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The brain looks for familiarity purely for efficiency. New patterns flag up as a potential threat to that efficiency, so the nervous system automatically treats them with wariness, or in some cases, depending on how you experienced new things as a child, avoids them entirely. You can imagine the limitation and frustration that brings to a life wanting to be lived in a person, often without ever knowing why.

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The good news is the brain loves to learn new things, and it can right up until the moment the body dies. It just needs one thing. You. The conscious chooser, guiding it with patience and consistency into newly chosen patterns that create a new default, updated to the life you want to experience now.

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So essentially, we're going from years of autopilot passiveness to persistent present moment aliveness. Imagine the inner seed being planted, needing a few good things around it to grow, and eventually rooting deep enough into the ground to sustain its own growth from there. That can be a challenging, wild ride. One that asks for courageous self love, held safe spaces, and wherever possible, community support.

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I didn't find any of this by getting it right first. The seed got planted about eleven years ago, when a depression hit me, I'd just qualified in my trade as an electrician and to be honest, I had a pretty steady life from the outside looking in. I just had no idea what life was for and what I was doing here, and that hit me quite intense at the time.

The depression was the seed's first watering, which I couldn't see at the time. But I made a choice. Eventually, I followed the curiosity it was offering instead of pushing it back down again and again. So I went looking for a way out of the depression, first in the outer world, through relationships, through travel and living abroad, through whatever I could throw myself into that gave momentary relief to the depression.

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That ran its course. Then I found books and teachings that pointed inward instead, and I followed those until they ran out of steam too. That led me toward initiatory experiences our culture has mostly forgotten how to offer, and toward real conversations, vulnerable ones, about things and heavy loads I wasn't aware I was carrying.

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I began to recognise my place here and the snowball effect and excitement to follow it further, training in conflict resolution (NVC), counselling, developing my capacities emotionally, understanding the holistic needs of the body, sitting with courageous men in men's circles, and more recently volunteering for a suicide helpline.

Somewhere in all of that, I felt the seed root. It became a seedling, and it started finding its own source of nutrient, needing less from me than I expected. However, I still forgot about it more times than I'd like to admit. I lost focus and awareness, and the plant withered more than once. What I learned is that I can't force it to grow any faster than it's going to grow. Nature knows what it's doing! But what I can do is notice it. Know when it needs trimming, when it needs water, and trust it does the rest exactly on its own natural time. And it does.

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The depression I felt at 22 wasn't the problem, it was actually the guide and instigator I needed to go on the journey of finding out what it is I'm here to do. That depression was a signal that I was resisting a readiness to an impending and unstoppable growth wanting to happen in me. The more I didn't listen to it, the further the depression hit.

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Most people have a seed like that too, an early sign of something beautiful they've simply forgotten to tend to. And we all know it, life gets busy, or hard, or loud, and the plant withers without anyone noticing.

I remind people it's there. I sit with people as they learn how to garden their inner world. Reminding them it cannot be force grown. It never can. It just happens on its own, exactly on time, and your attention to it, is all it requires!

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So my personal gift and highest joy, is to sit with people, I ask them questions, mirror them back to what they already know but forgot, and then be there as they water the seed and change the patterns in the brain that allow them to give the gift that they came here to give. And I absolutely love it, in all its complexity and simplicity.

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Here's what I want you to know above everything else: this is ordinary. It might feel enormous when it's happening to you, but recognising your own gift and choosing to live from it is one of the most normal and courageous things a human being can do. It only looks rare because so few people are shown how to. You're not broken for having lost touch with it. We as a culture just went a few centuries without teaching ourselves the way back. But, we're all finding it again, together, and it's happening right now, and if you're even the slightest bit excited by that then maybe that is your seed saying that this work is for you.

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Watching someone become the thing they always were, underneath the noise, is the best part of my week, every week. If you've had enough of the bullshit, if some part of you has been quivering in the corner for a while now, waiting for you to look, I am here as someone who can be with you as you do, and it's my absolute pleasure and purpose to do so.

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Right now, I've got a special offer open for people who are ready to start this work. Click below to find out more.

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Thank you for taking the time to read this and follow your curiosity.