From Lost to Understanding: My Path to Purpose and Vitality

The Chase: What I Left School Craving

I left school chasing one thing above all: a sense of belonging and worth. But what that pursuit looked like was a varied mix—learning to drive, playing football, training in a trade, landing a girlfriend, getting drunk every weekend, misusing drugs, and indulging in junk food that tasted amazing but wrecked my insides.

All of it boiled down to this: I wanted to feel worthy, believed in, trustworthy, accepted, respectable, loving, valuable, funny, and attractive to women. I craved sharing my true self without fear of ridicule or rejection from the group.

The High That Didn't Last

I dove headfirst into those desires and lived them fully—for a while, it felt incredible, like I could keep it up forever. But eventually, the habits caught up. They drained my body, strained my relationships, hurt my work, and clouded my mind. Depression hit hard. Despite friend groups everywhere, I felt utterly isolated, alone, unseen, and lost. That's when the questions surfaced for the first time.

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Escape to the Unknown: Why I Fled Across the World

I figured there had to be more out there—because here, I was stuck, unclear, and trapped in a failing life with nothing for me. So, I booked a flight and moved to the other side of the planet. It blew my mind open. I tasted freedom, anonymous among strangers. I could reinvent myself, hoping to finally be seen and respected.

Who Did I Become? Growth, Lessons, and Familiar Traps

I grew, my worldview expanded, and the people I met taught me volumes. Yet, that nagging lack persisted. I repeated old patterns, drawing in the same old messy circumstances. It flattened me completely.

The Deepest Low: Facing the Edge Alone

I hit a new rock bottom abroad—stuck in an unfulfilling job scraping by for bills, crammed into a tiny high-rise apartment. The isolation crushed me. For the first time, I seriously considered ending my life. I toyed with the idea for weeks, fantasizing about escaping. But deep down, I wanted to live; I just didn't know how anymore.

A Cry in the Dark: My First Real Prayer

So, I prayed—out loud, through tears and desperation—to whatever might listen. "What am I doing here? What's the point? Please show me—I can't keep going like this." I meant every word from my core. Looking back, I see it opened a dialogue with something bigger than me. I asked for help and guidance, seeking truth to ease my fear.

No lightning bolt struck, but I felt lighter, more honest.

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Sparks of Change: Synchronicities and a New Path

The months that followed brought experiences, people, and perfect timings that ignited inspiration. A path unfolded, one step at a time. I headed home to dive in—reading books, devouring podcasts, meditating. It was endless, rabbit hole after rabbit hole. I loved it; one of my most exciting phases. I was stunned by the wealth of info on health, wellbeing, ancient wisdom, and plant medicines—stuff I'd never explored before, touching mind, body, and soul.

Reflecting Back: Cringes, Laughs, and Breakthroughs

I started unpacking my choices and their roots. I sought therapy, joined retreats and men's groups, revamped my diet, and worked with my body and subconscious patterns. My self-relationship shifted.

With mentors and new friendships, transparency did two things: made me cringe at how I'd handed my power to externals for love and freedom; and made me laugh, realizing those years were perfectly timed to wake me up. I'd ignored my deeper Self, the part connected to everything. I felt like a lone wave in a vast ocean—until I got it: the wave is the ocean. I am both separate and one with all things.

Surrendering to Guidance: What If I Fully Trusted?

Without conscious trust in God, Spirit, Universe, Higher Self, Source etc, I was still led to love and understanding. So, what if I fully surrendered and co-created with it? What If I took my hands of the wheel and allowed my higher untamed Self to lead? It kept me curious and open. I asked: "What is this unconditionally loving ocean asking of me?"

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Uncovering Purpose: It Was There All Along

That's when I saw my purpose was already etched in— so close I'd missed it, but always whispering through my life. My passion? Guiding others to their own understanding, compassion, vitality, knowing, self-trust, and life's flow. Knowing when to accelerate, brake, fuel up right, and handle maintenance i.e. those stories of the mind!

This ripened me to launch my coaching career.

Did This Path Choose Me? The Fire That Fuels Me

I asked myself: What would I keep doing even if I had all the wealth, safety, comfort, and success in the world? The answer hit hard—I’m most alive when I see people shift from limiting beliefs to embracing their power, lit up by the joy of that transformation. That’s why I do this. I’d always pour myself into serving others, as if I’m serving myself. Honestly, it feels like this “job” chose me!

My Vision: A Living Community of Purpose

This part sets my heart on fire! I envision a community of souls co-creating with the same passion—lifting each other into the radiant energy of Love, Freedom, Vitality, and Clarity. I’m committed to growing in my own unique way, while supporting, encouraging, and even funding others to do the same. With a spirit of exploration and fun, we’ll weave these qualities into our work, relationships, art, communities, and projects—creating something that breathes, evolves, and thrives. My dream is a living community, united by a shared purpose that allows for all expression to be embraced for transformation and celebration.

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